For over 50 years, the party plan marketing scheme has been targeting lonely ladies in their late 20's to early 50's. First, it used a really neat new way to store food in your refridgerator without using up a plate, a bowl, and stinking up your fridge. This sweet new trick was called Tupperware, and every lady on the block WANTED IT.
Sweet little housewives would spend all day in the kitchen making finger foods, clean their house and send the kids out to kill Daddy when he got home. That game was great, because it took them hours to bury the body. Wifey would open a bottle of wine, and her friends would start to show up. Finally, they lady with the tupperware was here! I can use my hostess gift to store the leftovers! Wifey thinks excitedly. The ladies spend hours oohing and aahing over the plastic storage containers that you have to burp. Yay! it's better than a baby, because I don't have to change it's diaper!
Fast forward to present day. Wifey comes home from her job, pops open the plastic on the party platters that she bought from Publix. She secretly hopes that her friends make pigs of themselves, because she is running low on Gladware. The kids are at friends' houses for the night. The husband is out playing poker with the boys, and will come home reeking of Gin and cigars. Ooh boy, whiskey dick. So much for getting laid. Oh! I can use my hostess gift to remedy that situation!!! Do I have batteries?
The doorbell rings, and it is the lady of the evening, the most awesome woman in the world. It's the Passion Party lady. She carts in 3 large plastic boxes full of "toys" for you and your friends to giggle over. Your friends stumble in one by one. The Party Lady gives you all clipboards with a piece of blank paper on each. She tells you to put it on top of your head, now, you have 30 seconds to draw a penis! The best Penis wins a prize! (Just an FYI, this actually happened to me at one of these parties, and I TOTALLY won!)
Some of the guests get to try out different creams. Always interesting to watch your friends squirm! The Party Lady came up with a neat new game, where you pass a double ended toy around between your knees! The hostess even gets to try on a strap on!
After we all settle down and feel more comfortable with a room full of strangers, we start passing around the things that vibrate. From rabbits to dolphins, the people who come up with these toys think that either:
A: women really like animals and things that have animals on them,
-or-
B: women are into bestiality
Because every one of these things has got pearls inside and a top that rotates and a vibrating animal form near the base. The one with the butterfly was really cool, I almost bought one.
Then all the women go into a room and close the door, and all kinda of secret kinky things happen.
Just kidding, she takes your check and in about a week you get your stuff. She tells you that you have a great personality and gives you a brochure telling you all about working for Passion Party, and then you walk out and tap the next sucker.
I don't know exactly how we went from Tupperware to Sex Toys, but I am SOOOO not complaining. If you really want to make things interesting, invite a couple of your raunchiest friends, we will spice things up for you. I made the party lady blush, and she was the one who kept whipping out the bigger and better toys!
So thank you, inventor of the Tupperware party, for we have bastardized your idea and made it more awesome than you could ever have imagined.
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