Farts are funny, until they happen to you.

Farts are just about the funniest damn thing ever. I love farts. They crack me up. They send me into hysterics that make people stop and stare.

I am so lucky to have a spouse who shares it this amusement. We can sit on the sofa and rip them off in turn and laugh about it.

When we decide to go to bed, it is a different story. He goes straight to sleep (I still can't figure that out) while I wind down from my day. This is when it begins.

I will be laying there, reading or playing with my phone. The stench hits me like a pimp that I owe money to. Lately it has gotten so bad that I have to leave the room. He is oblivious, because he's asleep.

I am a loving wife. I do what I can for my hubby. I put up with his stinky gas because I love him.

I found the better marriage blanket by accident one day. It looked like a miracle product. Until I realized it's one fatal flaw: BOB. He tosses the covers off of everything but his feet multiple times during his attack. Boooooooooooo!

A friend of mine told me to write beano on the shopping list. I may do that soon, because I am going nuts!!!!

Thoughts

Oh random guy in front of me, why do you have on so much cologne? I smell you from 10 feet away. No wonder you walk all alone.